Let me just say first that I love being with Joey. He truly makes me happier than i have ever been before and im so lucky and blessed to have him be a part of my life once more. Im at USM right now, spending time with him, but my only small problem is that its all his friends here too, and i feel like i dont fit in. They all have their inside jokes and their stories that i have no part in, so i sit and listen and smile at times that feel appropriate but it just isnt all that fun. We went to the mall today and it was fun but they all came as well so it didnt feel all that special to me. I want to spend time with him, be with him, love him, but i get the pleasure of sharing. LOTS of fun. oh well. They all are out smoking pot right now and i stayed inside cuz i just dont do that.


BUT this is maybe a half hour later and ive been taking shots of jager, and holy shit. Mother fucker ive never felt this befor hahaha. So i was the happiest ive been in a long fucking time, and then our of nowhere i got sad and felt life crying, so joey and i went for a walk down some stairs and we sat down ina stair well and talked. I honestly done really remember what we were talking about but i cried and i cried and i cried and i could stop.

Im so much better now. I think i was scared of losing him.. wich tha is a stupid thing to be scared of since i know he cares about me. AND i know how much he means to me. I want to love him. I want him ti be a permanent part of me. I know that sounds big, but i really feel like he is the only one i have made a really fucking good decision about. We have been together befor and it didnt work out because we were both young and it really just could not work out.. BUT now that we are older and more mature and have both gone through relationships that taught us something new each time, I think it is almost perfect. I never dreamed of going back to Joey honestly. I was absolutely devestated when we broke up the first time but i figured it was just one of those things i would get over eventually and that we would just never be close again. This is so much different. He has really saved me. He helped me be happy. I dont worry about him being with other people, i completely trust him, more than i ever have before. that is so wonderful to me, to be able to have complete and 100% faith in him. I love every second i spend with him, and being wrapped in his arms is my favorite place to be. I have never been happier. I have never had so much hope. I have never felt so absolutely wonderful and overwhelmed and perfect and loved and everything else good in the world all at once. I cant honestly believe this.
I want to say thank you to joey because he saved me from a relationship that was bad for me, and made me realize how horribly another "relationship" with a "friend" was going.

Im happy i am here and spending time with him and his friends. Im glad to have the opportunty to get ti know al his friends and be an important part of his life, I like him so much mor ethat i expected, and appreciate him more that any of you could possibly ever know.
Im going now to spend the rest of the night with him. I want him close to me, and i will get what i want. :)

EVERYTHING is so perfect now.

<3 jen